Book synthesis

Together – even when we’re alone

Although strong social bonds lead to good physical and psychological health – together with its corollaries, creativity and performance – Vivek Murthy often observed a deficit. Why? Because maintaining social ties is more complex than it appears, and requires a pro-active approach now more than ever. 

Socializing means making an effort 

The need for social bonding is innate; but that doesn’t mean creating bonds is easy. Fear – or rather fears – sometimes prevent us from approaching others: fear of the other and fear of the unknown. Are you afraid that the person you’ve just met, for example, poses a potential threat? Are you afraid of being open, genuine, and vulnerable in your relations, especially in your work environment? Afraid of not finding the right words or adopting the right behavior, and being ridiculous and inappropriate? Or afraid of being marginalized? This distrust, although natural, is exacerbated by such extreme events as a terrorist attack or an unlikely pandemic. And these fears, rarely conscious and explicit, are sometimes difficult to overcome.  

At the same time, such fears create a vicious circle. Neuroscience, for instance, has demonstrated that the more you feel alone, the more you will view others as a threat, which only serves to heighten your sense of isolation. What’s more, loneliness can be difficult to spot: someone may feel alone and excluded even though they are in the middle of a group. And, contrary to what you might think, loneliness is not only expressed in isolation or withdrawal. It also takes the form of aggression, anger, or sadness, which means it is difficult to identify and help the person suffering from it.  

© Copyright Business Digest - All rights reserved