When you’re up against exclusion, discrimination and even ostracism, the way you react and behave can sometimes leave you feeling even more marginalized. Try to put your finger on what might cause you harm.
Your full-blooded reaction to something that has niggled you may be seen as being disproportionate, out of place or inappropriate, and may have a hand in making you lose your legitimacy. Avoid the following:
“It was my idea!” Nobody heard your proposal in a meeting, and it just fell flat… until, that is, the idea was picked up by a male colleague and everyone started praising it until the suggestion was adopted. How infuriating is that?! Reacting positively is a better bet, even if you have to bite your tongue. Saying something along the lines of “I’m really glad we agree; how can we move forward together now?” will help you take back control seamlessly.
“It’s not fair!” You realize that your pay raise is lower than a less deserving colleague’s, or that you’ve been overlooked for a strategic project once more. No, that’s not fair… but organizations, even though they may be crazy about sports metaphors, are not into fair play: the rules of the game are unspoken and can change at any moment. Don’t give into bitterness or protest out loud; learn to adapt to the shifting rules.
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