You are your worst enemy

Lots of us don’t run on perfectionism any longer but on anxiety, which presents itself in the form of a critical inner dialogue: “My presentation will never be up to scratch for the management team.” And on the big day, you fumble over a figure, and it’s the end of the world. Is it really?

Society and your upbringing have pushed you to embrace perfectionism as your way of operating. This, however, can often backfire: it leaves you feeling you’re a failure and leads to psychological suffering. How can you break the cycle?

Start by pinpointing those times when you hear that little critical internal voice. “You haven’t prepared enough, you’re a slacker.” Does it actually come from you or from an authority figure (a parent, manager or teacher, for instance)? What is it saying to you? Are there any recurring themes? Is it helpful? How did you feel before it made itself heard? Look into it, rack your brains before letting yourself be intimidated.

Don’t try to silence this voice. On the contrary, respond with compassion and – if you can – say it out loud in the second person: “No, you’d be better off stopping your preparations there, you’ve worked on it enough”.

Remember the times when something you did made you feel good – like the day you did a colleague a favor.

In a nutshell, put a new record on, and learn to love yourself. It will be good for you and the people you’re close to!

To go further