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Rational thinking and self-control: the two skills crucial to stress management
True
False
Right !
When you’re stressed, what Storoni* calls the “rational brain” is overtaken by the “emotional brain,” leading to difficulties in regulating emotions, motivation and the ability to feel pleasure. The goal is to strengthen the rational brain and control emotions. People with good self-control cope better with stress, perceive fewer situations as stressful and react more calmly when faced with a challenge. The author suggests a variety of strategies, from short-term fi xes, such as playing computer games that engage the rational brain when confronted by negative emotions, to more long-term solutions, such as focused attention meditation, yoga, and cognitive reappraisal, which help build self-control.
*Based on “Stress Proof: The Scientific Solution to Protect Your Brain and Body – and Be More Resilient Every Day” by Mithu Storoni (TarcherPerigee, 2017)
*Based on “Stress Proof: The Scientific Solution to Protect Your Brain and Body – and Be More Resilient Every Day” by Mithu Storoni (TarcherPerigee, 2017)
Wrong !
When you’re stressed, what Storoni* calls the “rational brain” is overtaken by the “emotional brain,” leading to difficulties in regulating emotions, motivation and the ability to feel pleasure. The goal is to strengthen the rational brain and control emotions. People with good self-control cope better with stress, perceive fewer situations as stressful and react more calmly when faced with a challenge. The author suggests a variety of strategies, from short-term fi xes, such as playing computer games that engage the rational brain when confronted by negative emotions, to more long-term solutions, such as focused attention meditation, yoga, and cognitive reappraisal, which help build self-control.
*Based on “Stress Proof: The Scientific Solution to Protect Your Brain and Body – and Be More Resilient Every Day” by Mithu Storoni (TarcherPerigee, 2017)
*Based on “Stress Proof: The Scientific Solution to Protect Your Brain and Body – and Be More Resilient Every Day” by Mithu Storoni (TarcherPerigee, 2017)
Optimists are very lucky.
True
False
Right !
Optimism isn’t about luck, it’s about practice. Optimism is a fundamental quality that can be developed through mindfulness and being fully present in the moment. To be optimistic, you also need to be realistic. Learning from the past helps you prepare with serenity for the future. We are not born optimistic: we become it. The same is true of pessimism. Our education and environment shapes how we see the world. Lack of insight, or the inability to assess a situation accurately, undermines optimism. Optimism is cultivated on a daily basis through positive thinking, the ability to put things into perspective, and surrounding yourself with the right people.
Source : Gaelle Pellerin, executive consultant and coach, 2020
Source : Gaelle Pellerin, executive consultant and coach, 2020
Wrong !
Optimism isn’t about luck, it’s about practice. Optimism is a fundamental quality that can be developed through mindfulness and being fully present in the moment. To be optimistic, you also need to be realistic. Learning from the past helps you prepare with serenity for the future. We are not born optimistic: we become it. The same is true of pessimism. Our education and environment shapes how we see the world. Lack of insight, or the inability to assess a situation accurately, undermines optimism. Optimism is cultivated on a daily basis through positive thinking, the ability to put things into perspective, and surrounding yourself with the right people.
Source : Gaelle Pellerin, executive consultant and coach, 2020
Source : Gaelle Pellerin, executive consultant and coach, 2020
Enjoying small daily pleasures is closely linked to stress resilience
True
False
Right !
The so-called reward circuit in your brain is essential to motivation. Chronic stress, however, can have a devastating eff ect on motivation, bringing on depression and an inability to experience pleasure. In experiments with mice, for example, a depressed state is induced when they are given a series of electric shocks which they cannot evade. At fi rst, they try to escape but eventually become depressed and give up. Even if you later offer them an escape route, they won’t take it. They lose their motivation. To protect you from chronic stress and its damaging effects on your reward circuit, Storoni advocates actively cultivating pleasure in your daily life. Typically, when you’re stressed, you cut back on “nonessential” activities, such as things you do purely for pleasure. Gradually, you stop doing things that bring you pleasure completely; meanwhile, chronic stress increases negative emotions, and you get sucked into a negative spiral. “You must treat pleasure with the same importance with which you treat going to work or taking a shower, by allotting time for it every day,” Storoni writes. For this, she recommends creating an action plan, with clear steps set out in a checklist, no matter how simplistic or unnecessary it may seem (“check on swimming pool hours, get out swimsuit, pack a gym bag”). Simply completing steps triggers your reward circuit, as the mind likes closure. She also advocates turning to the arts for pleasure: reading an absorbing detective novel, watching a ballgame, watching a funny movie, listening to music.
Based on “Stress Proof: The Scientific Solution to Protect Your Brain and Body – and Be More Resilient Every Day” by Mithu Storoni (TarcherPerigee, 2017)
Based on “Stress Proof: The Scientific Solution to Protect Your Brain and Body – and Be More Resilient Every Day” by Mithu Storoni (TarcherPerigee, 2017)
Wrong !
The so-called reward circuit in your brain is essential to motivation. Chronic stress, however, can have a devastating eff ect on motivation, bringing on depression and an inability to experience pleasure. In experiments with mice, for example, a depressed state is induced when they are given a series of electric shocks which they cannot evade. At fi rst, they try to escape but eventually become depressed and give up. Even if you later offer them an escape route, they won’t take it. They lose their motivation. To protect you from chronic stress and its damaging effects on your reward circuit, Storoni advocates actively cultivating pleasure in your daily life. Typically, when you’re stressed, you cut back on “nonessential” activities, such as things you do purely for pleasure. Gradually, you stop doing things that bring you pleasure completely; meanwhile, chronic stress increases negative emotions, and you get sucked into a negative spiral. “You must treat pleasure with the same importance with which you treat going to work or taking a shower, by allotting time for it every day,” Storoni writes. For this, she recommends creating an action plan, with clear steps set out in a checklist, no matter how simplistic or unnecessary it may seem (“check on swimming pool hours, get out swimsuit, pack a gym bag”). Simply completing steps triggers your reward circuit, as the mind likes closure. She also advocates turning to the arts for pleasure: reading an absorbing detective novel, watching a ballgame, watching a funny movie, listening to music.
Based on “Stress Proof: The Scientific Solution to Protect Your Brain and Body – and Be More Resilient Every Day” by Mithu Storoni (TarcherPerigee, 2017)
Based on “Stress Proof: The Scientific Solution to Protect Your Brain and Body – and Be More Resilient Every Day” by Mithu Storoni (TarcherPerigee, 2017)
Having others share in your anxiety can reduce its harmful effects
True
False
Right !
Knowing how to stay relaxed yourself is key to reducing stress for your teams, partly due to the highly contagious nature of stress. And sharing it without decrypting it does not lessen its effects. You must be a model of resilience for your teams!
Learn how to manage your own stress attacks to avoid infecting your teams. Model stress-busting techniques proven to balance and normalize levels of the stress hormone cortisol.
First, game your brain: If you’re flooded with negative emotions, paradoxically the worst thing to do may be to try to force yourself to relax. Instead, when you feel stressed, reengage your rational mind with something that requires focus. Play an absorbing game on your phone or computer to escape your stress trigger. Any game that tests your working memory or your spatial and navigational skills should effectively absorb your attention. Dr. Storoni specifically lists Tetris as an effective stress buster.
Based on “Stress Proof: The Scientific Solution to Protect Your Brain and Body – and Be More Resilient Every Day” by Mithu Storoni (TarcherPerigee, 2017)
Learn how to manage your own stress attacks to avoid infecting your teams. Model stress-busting techniques proven to balance and normalize levels of the stress hormone cortisol.
First, game your brain: If you’re flooded with negative emotions, paradoxically the worst thing to do may be to try to force yourself to relax. Instead, when you feel stressed, reengage your rational mind with something that requires focus. Play an absorbing game on your phone or computer to escape your stress trigger. Any game that tests your working memory or your spatial and navigational skills should effectively absorb your attention. Dr. Storoni specifically lists Tetris as an effective stress buster.
Based on “Stress Proof: The Scientific Solution to Protect Your Brain and Body – and Be More Resilient Every Day” by Mithu Storoni (TarcherPerigee, 2017)
Wrong !
Knowing how to stay relaxed yourself is key to reducing stress for your teams, partly due to the highly contagious nature of stress. And sharing it without decrypting it does not lessen its effects. You must be a model of resilience for your teams!
Learn how to manage your own stress attacks to avoid infecting your teams. Model stress-busting techniques proven to balance and normalize levels of the stress hormone cortisol.
First, game your brain: If you’re flooded with negative emotions, paradoxically the worst thing to do may be to try to force yourself to relax. Instead, when you feel stressed, reengage your rational mind with something that requires focus. Play an absorbing game on your phone or computer to escape your stress trigger. Any game that tests your working memory or your spatial and navigational skills should effectively absorb your attention. Dr. Storoni specifically lists Tetris as an effective stress buster.
Based on “Stress Proof: The Scientific Solution to Protect Your Brain and Body – and Be More Resilient Every Day” by Mithu Storoni (TarcherPerigee, 2017)
Learn how to manage your own stress attacks to avoid infecting your teams. Model stress-busting techniques proven to balance and normalize levels of the stress hormone cortisol.
First, game your brain: If you’re flooded with negative emotions, paradoxically the worst thing to do may be to try to force yourself to relax. Instead, when you feel stressed, reengage your rational mind with something that requires focus. Play an absorbing game on your phone or computer to escape your stress trigger. Any game that tests your working memory or your spatial and navigational skills should effectively absorb your attention. Dr. Storoni specifically lists Tetris as an effective stress buster.
Based on “Stress Proof: The Scientific Solution to Protect Your Brain and Body – and Be More Resilient Every Day” by Mithu Storoni (TarcherPerigee, 2017)
When the going gets tough, it’s better to react quickly.
True
False
Right !
Why do we make faster decisions in anxiety-inducing situations? We do so simply to relieve stress. In the body, the discomfort and difficulty of living under pressure is experienced as nothing less than a physical assault. And yet, in these types of situations, it is actually better to slow decision-making processes down. Stress should never be confused with urgency. The urgency to act is not related to the situation at hand, but rather to what, despite yourself, your brain imposes on you. The best advice is to accept stress and take your time deciding.
Source: Gaelle Pellerin, executive coach and consultant, 2020
Source: Gaelle Pellerin, executive coach and consultant, 2020
Wrong !
Why do we make faster decisions in anxiety-inducing situations? We do so simply to relieve stress. In the body, the discomfort and difficulty of living under pressure is experienced as nothing less than a physical assault. And yet, in these types of situations, it is actually better to slow decision-making processes down. Stress should never be confused with urgency. The urgency to act is not related to the situation at hand, but rather to what, despite yourself, your brain imposes on you. The best advice is to accept stress and take your time deciding.
Source: Gaelle Pellerin, executive coach and consultant, 2020
Source: Gaelle Pellerin, executive coach and consultant, 2020
Asking for help is critical for resilience.
True
False
Right !
Taking responsibility for everything is debilitating for you and counter-productive for your organization. There are several reasons why asking for help now earns you leadership points:
You demonstrate a desire to progress. The fact that you do not feel qualified to solve every problem by yourself is not a reason to feel ashamed; on the contrary, it is excellent news! It means you venture outside your comfort zone.
It shows you are wisely managing your most precious resource: your time. In the age of omnipresent data, no one is capable of processing daily information flows all alone. You need help sorting and analyzing it to give you the overview you need to fulfill your true role: focusing on the strategic aspects.
It shows you know how to leverage diverse points of view, which is a valuable asset for your organization. According to The Great Work Study, a survey conducted in 2015 by the OC Tanner Institute, 72% of employees rewarded by their companies for their work admitted to having sought advice or help from people outside their immediate circle. This support gave them new perspectives for solving problems – one they would not have come up with by themselves – and resulted in more creative solutions and improved results.
You show you value your team members. By asking for their help, you show others that you have confi dence in their ideas and skills. Requesting assistance is a very strong form of recognition, and, therefore, an excellent management practice.
Based on “ Reinforcements – How to get people to help you” by Heidi Grant (Harvard Business Review, 2018)
You demonstrate a desire to progress. The fact that you do not feel qualified to solve every problem by yourself is not a reason to feel ashamed; on the contrary, it is excellent news! It means you venture outside your comfort zone.
It shows you are wisely managing your most precious resource: your time. In the age of omnipresent data, no one is capable of processing daily information flows all alone. You need help sorting and analyzing it to give you the overview you need to fulfill your true role: focusing on the strategic aspects.
It shows you know how to leverage diverse points of view, which is a valuable asset for your organization. According to The Great Work Study, a survey conducted in 2015 by the OC Tanner Institute, 72% of employees rewarded by their companies for their work admitted to having sought advice or help from people outside their immediate circle. This support gave them new perspectives for solving problems – one they would not have come up with by themselves – and resulted in more creative solutions and improved results.
You show you value your team members. By asking for their help, you show others that you have confi dence in their ideas and skills. Requesting assistance is a very strong form of recognition, and, therefore, an excellent management practice.
Based on “ Reinforcements – How to get people to help you” by Heidi Grant (Harvard Business Review, 2018)
Wrong !
Taking responsibility for everything is debilitating for you and counter-productive for your organization. There are several reasons why asking for help now earns you leadership points:
You demonstrate a desire to progress. The fact that you do not feel qualified to solve every problem by yourself is not a reason to feel ashamed; on the contrary, it is excellent news! It means you venture outside your comfort zone.
It shows you are wisely managing your most precious resource: your time. In the age of omnipresent data, no one is capable of processing daily information flows all alone. You need help sorting and analyzing it to give you the overview you need to fulfill your true role: focusing on the strategic aspects.
It shows you know how to leverage diverse points of view, which is a valuable asset for your organization. According to The Great Work Study, a survey conducted in 2015 by the OC Tanner Institute, 72% of employees rewarded by their companies for their work admitted to having sought advice or help from people outside their immediate circle. This support gave them new perspectives for solving problems – one they would not have come up with by themselves – and resulted in more creative solutions and improved results.
You show you value your team members. By asking for their help, you show others that you have confi dence in their ideas and skills. Requesting assistance is a very strong form of recognition, and, therefore, an excellent management practice.
Based on “ Reinforcements – How to get people to help you” by Heidi Grant (Harvard Business Review, 2018)
You demonstrate a desire to progress. The fact that you do not feel qualified to solve every problem by yourself is not a reason to feel ashamed; on the contrary, it is excellent news! It means you venture outside your comfort zone.
It shows you are wisely managing your most precious resource: your time. In the age of omnipresent data, no one is capable of processing daily information flows all alone. You need help sorting and analyzing it to give you the overview you need to fulfill your true role: focusing on the strategic aspects.
It shows you know how to leverage diverse points of view, which is a valuable asset for your organization. According to The Great Work Study, a survey conducted in 2015 by the OC Tanner Institute, 72% of employees rewarded by their companies for their work admitted to having sought advice or help from people outside their immediate circle. This support gave them new perspectives for solving problems – one they would not have come up with by themselves – and resulted in more creative solutions and improved results.
You show you value your team members. By asking for their help, you show others that you have confi dence in their ideas and skills. Requesting assistance is a very strong form of recognition, and, therefore, an excellent management practice.
Based on “ Reinforcements – How to get people to help you” by Heidi Grant (Harvard Business Review, 2018)
Resilience cannot be learned, it’s a fixed capital
True
False
Right !
False ! You don’t have a fixed amount of resilience; like a muscle, you can build it and draw upon it as needed. To build up your “muscle” of resilience, the most impactful exercise was learning about psychologist Martin Seligman’s “3P’s”:
• Personalization: the belief that you are at fault
• Pervasiveness: the belief that an event will affect all areas of your life
• Permanence: the belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever
recognizing that your difficulties are not personal, pervasive, or permanent is the basis for building your resilience, helping you to see the problem more clearly by helping you to see beyond it as well.
Self-compassion is closely related to the 3 P’s and similarly strengthens your resistance to the paralyzing, confidence-eroding effects of adversity. Like the 3 P’s, self-compassion is about striving to accept your role in the problem without blaming your whole character and feeling worthless and helpless. “Self-compassion comes from recognizing that our imperfections are part of being human; Those who can tap into it recover from hardship faster.”
Based on “Option B, Facing adversity, building resilience, and finding joy” by Sheryl Sandberg & Adam Grant (Knopf, 2017).
• Personalization: the belief that you are at fault
• Pervasiveness: the belief that an event will affect all areas of your life
• Permanence: the belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever
recognizing that your difficulties are not personal, pervasive, or permanent is the basis for building your resilience, helping you to see the problem more clearly by helping you to see beyond it as well.
Self-compassion is closely related to the 3 P’s and similarly strengthens your resistance to the paralyzing, confidence-eroding effects of adversity. Like the 3 P’s, self-compassion is about striving to accept your role in the problem without blaming your whole character and feeling worthless and helpless. “Self-compassion comes from recognizing that our imperfections are part of being human; Those who can tap into it recover from hardship faster.”
Based on “Option B, Facing adversity, building resilience, and finding joy” by Sheryl Sandberg & Adam Grant (Knopf, 2017).
Wrong !
False ! You don’t have a fixed amount of resilience; like a muscle, you can build it and draw upon it as needed. To build up your “muscle” of resilience, the most impactful exercise was learning about psychologist Martin Seligman’s “3P’s”:
• Personalization: the belief that you are at fault
• Pervasiveness: the belief that an event will affect all areas of your life
• Permanence: the belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever
recognizing that your difficulties are not personal, pervasive, or permanent is the basis for building your resilience, helping you to see the problem more clearly by helping you to see beyond it as well.
Self-compassion is closely related to the 3 P’s and similarly strengthens your resistance to the paralyzing, confidence-eroding effects of adversity. Like the 3 P’s, self-compassion is about striving to accept your role in the problem without blaming your whole character and feeling worthless and helpless. “Self-compassion comes from recognizing that our imperfections are part of being human; Those who can tap into it recover from hardship faster.”
Based on “Option B, Facing adversity, building resilience, and finding joy” by Sheryl Sandberg & Adam Grant (Knopf, 2017).
• Personalization: the belief that you are at fault
• Pervasiveness: the belief that an event will affect all areas of your life
• Permanence: the belief that the aftershocks of the event will last forever
recognizing that your difficulties are not personal, pervasive, or permanent is the basis for building your resilience, helping you to see the problem more clearly by helping you to see beyond it as well.
Self-compassion is closely related to the 3 P’s and similarly strengthens your resistance to the paralyzing, confidence-eroding effects of adversity. Like the 3 P’s, self-compassion is about striving to accept your role in the problem without blaming your whole character and feeling worthless and helpless. “Self-compassion comes from recognizing that our imperfections are part of being human; Those who can tap into it recover from hardship faster.”
Based on “Option B, Facing adversity, building resilience, and finding joy” by Sheryl Sandberg & Adam Grant (Knopf, 2017).
When you go through something really difficult, there is always a “before” and an “after”
True
False
Right !
When things go wrong, you might have trouble coping and walk away from the experience with reduced confidence and greater trouble functioning. A second possibility is that you are resilient and bounce back quickly to a close resemblance of your former self. Sandberg and Grant report that there is also a third, less talked about possibility of “bouncing forward” and walking away from adversity with new wisdom and strength. Indeed, while you would probably never choose for bad things to happen, they do tend to teach you a lot – and quickly. They write that the large majority of people “report at least one positive change” after a traumatically negative experience. What is known as “post-traumatic growth” can take the following five forms:
1. Finding personal strength: when tested, you can find strength you didn’t know you had
2. Gaining appreciation: “It is the irony of all ironies to experience tragedy and come out of it feeling more grateful,” Sandberg writes. Adversity can snap you out of taking the positive aspects of your life and work for granted.
3. Forming deeper relationships: adversity can motivate you to connect more with others
4. Discovering greater meaning in life: adversity can motivate you to find new meaning and purpose
5. Seeing new possibilities: when things don’t work out the way you planned, you can end up choosing new directions that you would never have considered otherwise.
Based on “Option B, Facing adversity, building resilience, and finding joy” by Sheryl Sandberg & Adam Grant (Knopf, 2017).
1. Finding personal strength: when tested, you can find strength you didn’t know you had
2. Gaining appreciation: “It is the irony of all ironies to experience tragedy and come out of it feeling more grateful,” Sandberg writes. Adversity can snap you out of taking the positive aspects of your life and work for granted.
3. Forming deeper relationships: adversity can motivate you to connect more with others
4. Discovering greater meaning in life: adversity can motivate you to find new meaning and purpose
5. Seeing new possibilities: when things don’t work out the way you planned, you can end up choosing new directions that you would never have considered otherwise.
Based on “Option B, Facing adversity, building resilience, and finding joy” by Sheryl Sandberg & Adam Grant (Knopf, 2017).
Wrong !
When things go wrong, you might have trouble coping and walk away from the experience with reduced confidence and greater trouble functioning. A second possibility is that you are resilient and bounce back quickly to a close resemblance of your former self. Sandberg and Grant report that there is also a third, less talked about possibility of “bouncing forward” and walking away from adversity with new wisdom and strength. Indeed, while you would probably never choose for bad things to happen, they do tend to teach you a lot – and quickly. They write that the large majority of people “report at least one positive change” after a traumatically negative experience. What is known as “post-traumatic growth” can take the following five forms:
1. Finding personal strength: when tested, you can find strength you didn’t know you had
2. Gaining appreciation: “It is the irony of all ironies to experience tragedy and come out of it feeling more grateful,” Sandberg writes. Adversity can snap you out of taking the positive aspects of your life and work for granted.
3. Forming deeper relationships: adversity can motivate you to connect more with others
4. Discovering greater meaning in life: adversity can motivate you to find new meaning and purpose
5. Seeing new possibilities: when things don’t work out the way you planned, you can end up choosing new directions that you would never have considered otherwise.
Based on “Option B, Facing adversity, building resilience, and finding joy” by Sheryl Sandberg & Adam Grant (Knopf, 2017).
1. Finding personal strength: when tested, you can find strength you didn’t know you had
2. Gaining appreciation: “It is the irony of all ironies to experience tragedy and come out of it feeling more grateful,” Sandberg writes. Adversity can snap you out of taking the positive aspects of your life and work for granted.
3. Forming deeper relationships: adversity can motivate you to connect more with others
4. Discovering greater meaning in life: adversity can motivate you to find new meaning and purpose
5. Seeing new possibilities: when things don’t work out the way you planned, you can end up choosing new directions that you would never have considered otherwise.
Based on “Option B, Facing adversity, building resilience, and finding joy” by Sheryl Sandberg & Adam Grant (Knopf, 2017).
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